and what if i dragged them away from my words
kickin' and screamin'
and left my words without emotion
alone
able to speak on their own
so the "average" person
can get WHY
FUCK
so my FUCKing Professor can get WHY
Him "teaching" this BullSHIT isn't teaching me shit
only making the problems worst
because after class I face blue eyes trying to explain to them
that MY people didn't lay down and take shit from no one
we all fought back
and that our dumbass Professor got that shit wrong
and to prove that
after class I have to find and
FUCKing dig and search for some truth
and then come back to class and
explain it to YOU
without tears
without yells
and without
FUCK
without anything
inorder for YOU not shut me out
as another kid who has lost my way
BUT
if I was left without the emotional baggage
that ties me to what I scream for
i feel as if I will be left empty
there would be no reason to fight
there would no reason to tell them
FUCK
What we have to say matters
WE are real
WE are real
WE are FUCKing real
WE matter
and I worry sometimes that my
tears silents my words
and it gives the pass for people to shut me out
but god do they make them so much more real
and when I cry between words
of struggle, of anger,
for FREEDOM
I do so NOT because
I am weak
but
because
this shit is real
its real
not something i picked up in my FUCKing global studies class
not something that I experienced on LA term
or on Bridges or on a FUCKING missions trip to the whole FUCKing continent of AFRICA
not something that "god has put on my precious FUCKing heart"
but real like
when I go home I stare at an empty fridge real
like in my face
i see the tears of my mom real like
not sleeping because the streets never do real
real like this is my life real
that the revolution is for me and my people real
like when WE become liberated
we will not SHIT on you like you have continually have done to us
real (and thank Paulo for that)
so FUCK you!
and when I'm trying to explain myself
why this SHIT smells like FUCKed up people who have too much power
and I cry
ignore my words at that moment and look at my tears
because that emotion explains it all
it explains it all
FUCK.
FREEDOM first FUCK grace!
9 comments:
FUCK yah.
"FREEDOM first FUCK grace!"
These words have SO much truth to them. We cannot talk about grace until the oppression stops. It seems to me that grace is used as a means to (1) dodge one's accountability for the oppressive reality and (2) for the purpose of stalling the end of one's oppressive actions.
this is phenomenal.
and i aggree with matt - grace is brutally abused on a consistent basis.
these words are filled with meaning. using such language as a vehicle of conveyance resonates so deeply not only becuase of the "righteous anger" it embodies, but becuase the things it is used to speak of are not the things of books.
the language of academia is empowering becuase it gives the power to name the oppressive systems. but sometimes it is also a cage because it forces a subject matter concerning life and death into a dialect of detachment.
props to you for speaking the truth.
"this shit is real
its real
not something i picked up in my FUCKing global studies class
not something that I experienced on LA term
or on Bridges or on a FUCKING missions trip to the whole FUCKing continent of AFRICA
not something that "god has put on my precious FUCKing heart"
but real like
when I go home I stare at an empty fridge real
like in my face
i see the tears of my mom real like
not sleeping because the streets never do real
real like this is my life real"
...stood out to me most. I wish more students could read that and stop romanticizing a lack of money/food/shelter.
As for "FREEDOM first FUCK grace" a few things come to mind. First, I think that the word grace is thrown around so much in Christian circles that its meaning has been forgotten and its power lost among those who misuse it. Matt, I agree with you that people use it to dodge their accountability. And I also say fuck that grace.
And ultimately I don't think that's what grace is intended to be at all. I don't think the word needs to be thrown out (I think it should be talked about) but rather remembered for what it means. I don't have a full grasp on it by any means but when I think of the core of grace I think of pardon, mercy, forgiveness, something given in unconditional love. I think freedom abounds in this type of grace; I think this type of grace has been present in the most powerful forms of nonviolent resistance. Yet we have also seen how injustice has been perpetuated by the "grace" that justifies ignorance and racism for the sake of "feeling good in community" or "keeping the 'peace'". Again, I agree, fuck this grace; I also say fuck the misuse of terms for personal benefit, feeling better about oneself, and for dodging accountability.
I agree with you Bethany. I don't think that we need to throw out grace, at least not good uses of.
I do agree with the words of the poem though, "FREEDOM first FUCK grace!"
My second comment applied to personal relationships, sorry for not being clearer. So often I hear of abusive significant others asking for grace as they continue to oppress the one they claim to love regularly. In such cases I believe that the oppressor can make no legitimate claim to grace until they stop beating up the one they "love."
This is a hard conversation to have though. Grace is one of those words that is to large to be fit into a handful of letters. Like God, a conversation attempting to describe the the limits of grace could potentially never end.
Being that this conversation seems to be founded in how we understand grace I don't even know then how productive the following words are. None the less, I guess that I see grace as something closer to forgiveness. Something that is asked for, not given freely.
This is probably where I may disagree with you.
thank you so much for the feed back.
On grace...for me I have always signed grace&freedom because I want liberation but with reconciliation...and I just think the order of my words have gotten mixed up....so I say FUCK grace in this because I think that the way "grace" have been overused it can't fully show the heaviness of reconciliation because when we become fully liberated I do not want us to become the oppressor and more so I do not want to be angry or upset with anyone I want all of it (the systems of oppression) to be done with.....but in my eyes for one who was once Shitted on by someone else it is very not to want to go and do something to that person so there will be a time where we must reconcile...but I'm starting to see more and more my freedom must come first.
But I can say that I will not sign with grace&freedom anymore....
but once again thank you so much for the feed back.
Freedom&
Matt,
I think you gave a good example of how an abusive person needs to stop abusing rather than ask for grace while they continue beating the one they "love." I also think you're right in saying that the word comes with a lot of definitions. I also tend to think of grace in terms of forgiveness yet that word also comes with a lot of baggage; some would say that true forgiveness must be given "freely" (i.e. it is not contingent on conditions) while others would say that it is entirely conditional. Either way (I feel like I tend to go back and forth between the two), I don't think I ever have the place of telling someone how they are to forgive when I'm not the one being hurt.
On a side note (yet still related), why did you look my way in class today when you said the word grace? haha, Just curious :-).
Kameale, if I understood you correctly it looks like you largely define grace in terms of reconciliation. And I really believe that reconciliation between two individuals or communities can't exist while one abuses the other. I agree with you, freedom has to come first.
I looked at you because we have been having this conversation on the topic.
I figured :). I had also zoned out for a moment there in class and was worried we had been talking about grace for a bit and I was unaware of it. haha.
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